The day is finally here, the day I can announce(drum roll) that we plan on adding a new addition to our family via adoption. Yes, we are adopting a gorgeous cute smooshie face once again. I know I previously said its unlikely but…. toothless mouthies, first words, first steps, cuddles, baby smell, how can we possibly be done after just one 🙂 so not done with babies just yet. I actually even miss the million bottle feeds, the burping, the baby bath time and especially the crying for mommy to get some cuddles. Yeah I know, I am being sentimental, but my 4 year old mainly calls for mommy when he wants a snack or juice these days, I am struggling to get used to the independence of little H.
We are going for our first consultation meeting on 11 March and so far it does seem that quite a bit has changed. Firstly and most importantly, it makes no difference if you have adopted before. I was actually suprised by this, I thought it would be as easy as going in and stating you would like to adopt another child handing in your payslips, home visit and boom, baby time. Nope apparently circumstance can change so we shall be treated as first time adoptive parents.
The process has changed a bit compared to 4 years ago. We no longer need to go for police clearance as they do all background checks in house, so yay no black stained fingers this time round and it also cuts down the 3 week wait for the police clearance certificate.
There is no psychiatrist visit necessary which is awesome but it has been replaced with 2 extra meetings including individual meetings with each of us in order to see that we are on the same page as far as parenting goes. So a few more 40 minute drives to Wellington but no additional steps outside of the agency (yay)
The price has gone up too and although I know it is necessary to charge, I cant help but wish it would be less. There are no discounts for the second time round either. We were given an estimated amount of between R30 000 – R35 000 for the entire process. There are cheaper agencies do not get me wrong, we were quoted about R12000 at a different agency however because adoption is so personal and slightly stressful, we decided to go with who we knew considering the agency made the process feel like a walk in the park last time.
My son will play a big part in this adoption without even knowing it. We have been told with a second adoption, he is taken into account when the social workers decide on placement. I am assuming that because my son is Xhosa, they will likely place us with a Xhosa child, but I wont speculate, I will be able to confirm after the meeting.
Speaking of our son, hes doing just great. Clever, handsome, kind , perfect. I am constantly thinking how lucky I am to have him as my son, such a beautiful soul. Oh please do not get me wrong, he has a Jeckyl and Hyde thing going on now and then and boy when Hyde comes out… lets just say that its not pretty
He of course is thrilled at the idea of a sibling as he has been asking us for about a year now and has decided he will be getting a brother named, Spike. Yep, his name of choice is Spike. His reason for wanting a brother is so that he can have double bunks and so that they can play rough, that is the requirement for a sibling for H in his opinion.
We are not sure yet if we will specify girl or boy, a very big part of us would love to adopt a daughter, but then we think of brothers and how awesome it would be for H to have a brother to grow up with. Also by choosing, we immediately cut off a chance for a kid to be placed with us so, perhaps we should leave it open and let fate decide.
Watch this space……