Curveball

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So, life has a sense of humour it seems…after adopting our son,  we could not imagine that having a biological child would feel any different as we could not love our child any more than we do, it just wasn’t humanly possible. Our method of having kids became adoption. We were very chuffed that I could skip the weight gain, the morning sickness and then of course the actual birth. Yay us “we beat the system”.

We found out a month ago that I am in fact pregnant!

It was a shocker at first considering we found out 2 days before we were to attend our final panel meeting which would qualify us for the adoption of our second child.  Then came the sadness and I know I will be judged by some people for saying this but it is something we really felt. Both my husband and I felt a loss of sorts, our future with that beautiful brown-skinned little girl we imagined and planned for just ended and we were sad for that loss. I had to call the adoption agency and cancel the adoption which was also a rather unpleasant thing to do even though they were very happy for us.  Thankfully there was no baby for us yet, so there was no rejection. Well to be honest if there were a baby for us, we simply would have had 3 kids in Feb.

I am happy to report that I am 10 weeks pregnant today and we are very excited for our new arrival in Feb next year. I put a lot of thought into whether I should add my pregnancy to my adoption blog but decided that to as this impacts our family which will now be composed of adopted as well as biological kids.  My son is extremely excited for his brother or sister and I am so grateful that we had unintentionally provided him with the tools to handle this since he was a baby. He is well aware that not all babies grow in their moms tummies, sometimes their moms and dads have to go and find them because the baby decides to grow in another aunties tummy instead.  He is truly going to be the best big brother and I cannot wait until they meet.

So that’s our news for now, at the moment I am fighting a bit of morning sickness and all kinds of aches and pains that go along with pregnancy.  At least in 6 months time I can say  I have done both.  It has given me an opportunity to be in a birth mothers shoes for a bit,  to carry a baby and letting your body go through this process just to give the baby up for a better life. It would definitely be easier for them to have an abortion but they don’t, they stick it out for the life growing in them, and if that is not an act of love, then I don’t know because even though I’m only 10 weeks, pregnancy is hard. New level of respect for birth moms.

Adoption remains my choice of creating my family but ill admit this is pretty amazing too and we look forward to raising our two amazing kids 🙂 Thinking back on when we were trying to fall pregnant in our twenties, even though we were in perfect health to conceive, it just was not happening, I feel that this is just because my son was meant to be part of our family from day one. Things just happened the way they were supposed to 🙂

 

 

 

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