We were told that the word adoption should be used often in a positive way once our baby is at home. We were told that the child will ask questions as he/she gets older but we should never force the topic on the child. Adoption should always be brought up during play time or bath time, never in a stiff formal meeting.
Our social worker advised us that our answers should always be open and honest and the answers should be ones filled with love e.g why is my skin a different colour to yours to which we would reply with – because god made us in all different shapes colours and sizes 🙂
A way of answering that I really like and am definatley going to use is…”we prayed to Jesus for you and he wanted to send us a different baby with blue eyes but we turned it down and said no our babys name is (x) and we only want (x), and (x) has brown eyes etc, so Jesus said alright but he could not put you into my tummy so he chose somebody very special to put you into their tummy until you are born”
These are a few of the books which were recommended to us. Reading about an adopted character apparantly helps the child understand that he is loved and wanted just like the character in the books we read to him/her. Gives them something to identify with. These are a few of the recommended books we will definately be getting:
the greatest gift – terri lailvaux
All about adoption – Marc Nemiroff and Jane Annunziata
Whoever You Are – Mem Fox
Tell Me Again About THe Night I Was Born – Jamie Lee Curtis